"HERE’S TV joker DAVID WALLIAMS on holiday in Australia – and his trunks certainly seem to be, er, well packed."
He's not "on holiday" - he and Matt Lucas are currently working over there, touring the Little Britain stage show.
Then we get this frankly baffling rant:
"I’d swoon over a picture of BRAD PITT in those tiny trunks. But seeing them on David – with his unsightly man boobs and tum – just doesn’t have the same effect, does it? Quite how he managed the 22-mile charity swim to France last summer looking this out of shape I really don’t know. Perhaps the extra bulk acted as good insulation! Still, as long as the lovely Emily is not put off by his expanding girth . . . Perhaps David is planning to swap roles with his tubby TV partner MATT LUCAS?"
THIS is the sort of thing Vicky gets paid six figures for? That's not news. Look at the picture of Walliams in his trunks - "unsightly man boobs and tum"? Really? I don't see him spending five grand and employing "wizards" to Photoshop his pictures beyond all recognition. Unlike some people.