Friday, 16 November 2007

VickyWatch: Mission Complete

The time has come. After nearly making it to a whole year, VickyWatch is being laid to rest. I think the job has been done. It got press attention, important people read it, The Sun monkeys changed their stories after checking it every day. It's even going to be in a TV documentary soon.

I was going to write a piece tomorrow saying how there hadn't been any mistakes this week, and then EXCLUSIVELY REVEAL that it's because Vicky is on holiday at the moment. But then today it was announced that she is leaving the Bizarre column for pastures new. Sort of. Incredibly, despite years of incompetence, mistakes and lies, Vicky has been promoted to Head of Features and Entertainment. At some point soon you'll be reading Gordon Smart's Bizarre. This is Gordon Smart:

Go here and you can see more pics of shirtless Gordon, and also a photo of his wife in bed asleep. (EDIT: Except you can't now, because he's deleted the photos - check out his MySpace instead.) So good luck to Gordon. I hope I don't have to start a blog for you too...

Of course good luck to Vicky as well. It just goes to show that at The Sun, it doesn't matter how many lies you tell or how bad you are at your job, a great pair of tits is always a winner.

Au revoir!


Tuesday, 6 November 2007

Biker girl Brit gets touched up - 6th November

"BRITNEY SPEARS is almost unrecognisable in this newly released promotional shot for her upcoming album Blackout. Blackout - which entered the UK charts at No2 on Sunday - is set to go to No1 in the American Billboart chart this weekend and has become Britney's fastest selling album ever in the UK."

So this is an upcoming album which went on sale last Monday? Okay...

For "newly released" read "one of the photos which is in the CD booklet" - see here.

Monday, 5 November 2007

Ronan and lads reunion tour - 5th November

Ronan Keating's website, Sunday 4th November: There have been lots of Boyzone rumours flying around lately. I always said you would be the first to know of any news, so... On Friday 16th November the five members of Boyzone will be reforming for a special exclusive performance for the BBC's 'Children In Need' show!!

Vicky on the Sun website, Monday 5th November: The Boyz – or should that be Men – are reuniting to play at BBC’s Children In Need this month, where they will perform a medley of old hits. And lead singer RONAN KEATING chose his favourite showbiz column to break the happy news in a phone call to me yesterday.

Friday, 2 November 2007

Download FREE Minogue mix - 2nd November

"The Ozzy pop rocket releases her tenth collection X on November 26, but if you can’t wait that long I’ve got my hands on a nifty mega-mix of fresh songs that should conclusively whet your appetite."

Ozzy? Anyway... "I've got my hands on" Well it's taken you a while, Vicky, as Kylie has been offering it free from her own website since Monday. In fact the page Kylie had is just like yours minus the gratuitous Sun logos...

Thursday, 1 November 2007

'Mucca's a compulsive liar' - 1st November

It was set in stone that the moment Heather Mills started to rant about tabloid lies that one journalist would immediately get on the defensive. Yep, our Vicky. It was hard not to overdose on irony this morning reading Vicky's equally barmy tirade.

"The fact is she’s told so many lies that I’m sure she is now unable to tell fact from fiction."

I really think this needs to be the new quote at the top of the page, don't you?