Thursday, 21 December 2006

Gongs Gone Wrong - 21st December,,4-2006590175,00.html

There's something rather fishy about this year's Bizarre Reader's Poll.

Voting for the poll opened 2 weeks ago on December 7th. From what Vicky implies, the polls closed yesterday (she refers to Noel Gallagher's antics in the early hours of Wednesday morning as "in the final closing hours of my poll" - more on that below).

"But only YOU can decide who wins." said Vicky.


Take a look at today's picture of Vicky presenting Justin Timberlake with his award. Now take a look at the picture of her meeting him in Copenhagen at the MTV EMAs on November 2nd. They're both wearing exactly the same clothes. Justin's tie is even loosened to the same degree. Sprinkle a little bit of Photoshop magic to get rid of the background and hey presto! But how could he possibly be receiving this award when the polls didn't even open until 5 weeks later? Curiouser and curiouser.

And I'm sure it's just a coincidence that when presenting Take That with their awards, Vicky wore exactly the same outfit, complete with chunky necklace, as when she spent the day with them back in November.

The picture of Madonna looking like she's just been handed two plates of poo was taken backstage at the British Comedy Awards on December 13th (same outfit, same hair) only 6 days after the voting started, and a full week before the polls supposedly closed.

Noel Gallagher apparently won his Caner of the Year award by putting up "such a good fight in the final closing hours of my poll". Vicky then goes on to tell us about his alleged antics in the early hours of yesterday morning (December 20th) and how they "clinched it" for him, suggesting a last-minute rush of votes as a result. But if this was a public vote, and his antics hadn't been reported anywhere until now (certainly not in The Sun) then how could the public be swayed by any of this? For "my poll" read "my decision".

It's really quite appropriate that the backgrounds of all the photos have been removed to give them that clean uniformity. You could say there has been a bit of a whitewash.

Now a couple of other clangers. These are either celebrities being thick, or Vicky just making up quotes as she goes along - I'll let you make up your own mind.

Noel Gallagher: "If she [Sarah Harding] wins Caner of the Year instead of me, it will be worse than ENGELBERT HUMPERDINK [sic] beating THE BEATLES to Christmas No 1 in 1967."

The Beatles were Christmas number one in 1967. The single Engelbert had out at the time, "The Last Waltz", had already been number one during September and October that year, and was on its way out of the Top 20 by Christmas. Engelbert did, however, beat them to number one earlier in the year with "Release Me". Perhaps "Noel" was so drunk that he got confused.

"TAKE THAT told me they weren't too bothered about winning Brits when they could win REAL awards voted for by the people who matter - Sun readers. MARK OWEN said: "We've won seven Brit Awards over the years, but we can only find three of them. I don't know where the others have gone.""

Take That have won four Brit Awards, not seven. But of course they were industry awards, not voted for by REAL people. Apart from those won by public vote. Which was all four of them.


9pm said...

She really is a hopeless old harridan. Please explain the 5K price tag on her column photo.

Darwin said...

According to Private Eye, she spent £5000 on a photoshoot until she got a byline photo she liked. Of course she NEVER looks like that any other time.

Lost Boy said...

Well, she's perhaps using her witch powers to predict the winners, therefore saving News International cash in paying expenses. Brave, brave Vicky!

Lost Boy said...

Oh, and £5,000 on a photo? She wants to get those railings she calls teeth sorted first.

secretdubai said...

Why would anyone waste £5k on a photo when one could just photoshop it for free?