Wednesday, 2 May 2007

Vicky's Bizarre Outfit

It's hard to tell whether Sun columnist Victoria Newton, 46, is chav or chic with this curious ensemble. My snapper caught her off guard at her employer's weekend away at a caravan park. The designer luggage didn't exactly match the saggy tracksuit - and it looks like that's not all that's sagging either.

Paying homage to her roots with the Liverpool FC scarf was a nice touch, considering how much Liverpool hates The Sun. Unfortunately the combination of the tracksuit, brown luggage and scarf makes Vicky look like a cross between a council-estate mum and Paddington Bear. Perhaps like that furry creature, she should have a tag attached to her saying "Please look after this hair."

I wonder if there's any marmalade in those bags? She certainly looks as though she's been getting through a few jars!

(How does that medicine taste, dear? Familiar?)


RichardAM said...

Very clever. ;)

James said...

*standing ovation*

Now all we need is a follow-up article in which a similar picture taken a day later is used to prove that she's looking amazing, stylish and happy, then another one the day after that in which a photo of Vicky with a slightly frayed shoelace is shown as proof that she's having a nervous breakdown.

David said...

Brilliant brilliant work Darwin.

Daysleeper said...

You called her old, fat, unkempt, saggy, and you even threw in the word chav. But still it feels as though this is far too kind an article to ever grace the pages of Bizarre.

Adem IAR said...

Fucking gold.

Andych said...

Caravan park? Classy. Should've made sure you had enough pound coins for the meter, Vic love; you know what they say about getting dressed in the dark

James said...

There's a great story in the new Private Eye about everyone's favourite showbiz pages. Sun editor Rebekah Wade recently split up with Ross Kemp after many happy years (and 'good old-fashioned' bouts of domestic violence resulting in a night in the cells for the ginger one). Now single, she is currently 'wooing' an ex-horse-trainer.

Clearly seeing the raw talent on show in Vicky's Bizarre team, Wade has recently put them to work on a high-profile project. Uncovering shameful celeb scandals? Grabbing incriminating photo exclusives?

Err... Not quite. She's instructed them to 'acquire' a top-of-the-range iPod and fill it with her new boyfriend's favourite songs. Go, team!

(No word yet on whether Vicky will be compiling one of her hilarious lists of "Top 10 songs Rebekah might put on the iPod", including 'Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting', 'Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick (Or Whichever Blunt Instrument Comes to Hand)' and 'Ferry Cross the Mersey (Away From All the People Who Hate Us)')

Spodo said...

This person recently took down the link for vickywatch and anything else negative mentioned on the Victoria Newton Wikipedia page.

They also seem to be interested in keeping the Sun's Lilsboys Wikipedia page from being deleted.
I wonder who could it have been?