Songwriter Tom learns to McFly - 22nd May

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007230497,00.html

"McFly’s single, the double A-side Baby’s Coming Back/Transylvania, reached No1 last week and marked the TENTH chart-topper Tom has penned."

No it didn't. 'Baby's Coming Back' is a cover of a track by Jellyfish, and Transylvania was written solely by McFly bandmate Dougie Poynter.

In fact overall the achievement is not quite as spectacular as Vicky is making out. She refers to McFly's hits as being "penned" by Tom, and to Busted's hits as being "co-written" by him. But looking in more detai at the McFly number one singles, there was only one which Tom "penned" by himself - All About You - and that was the official Comic Relief charity single in 2005, so arguably would have topped the charts regardless. And how many other writers are credited on the rest of these number ones?

5 Colours In Her Hair - 2 (Fletcher/Jones)
Obviously - 3 (Fletcher/Jones/Bourne)
I'll Be OK - 3 (Fletcher/Jones/Poynter)
Please, Please - 5 (Fletcher/Jones/Poynter/Judd/Perry)
Star Girl - 7 (Fletcher/Jones/Poynter/Judd/Perry/Emery/Carter)

I don't think we're talking about the next Bob Dylan here...

Robbie & Guy Back For Good - 19th May

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007230156,00.html

Not much of an exclusive when Holy Moly had this story on their front page yesterday. How ironic that their piece ends with "Bet this ends up in The Sun tomorrow."

"Back in April 2005 I reported how the pair were talking again after a three-year feud."

Ah Vicky, but then you forgot how in November 2006 you reported that they hadn't spoken since 2003.

"They fell out after Rob signed a £30 million deal with EMI."

It was £80 million, not 30.

Vicky On MySpaz

Well done Vicky! 28 months after everyone else, you got yerself a MySpace profile.

And she's made it a family affair including her graduation photo with her mum and dad.

Next time she criticises someone's fashion sense, just remember this photo of her wearing a dead Muppet. Her recreation of the "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" advert is also good.

Her lackeys Gordon Smart and Simon Rothstein also have profiles, and even Vicky's predecessor Dominic Mohan has one.

Vicky gets PWNED

A few months ago, one of Vicky's lackeys, John Cole, wrote a piece called "Baby rumous for sober Church." This led to Charlotte Church having to reveal her pregnancy earlier than she wanted to. She contacted the Press Complaints Commission. They upheld her complaint.

Which means The Sun was forced to publish this today. Quite why they haven't seen fit to remove the original article is anyone's guess.

Vicky's Bizarre Outfit

It's hard to tell whether Sun columnist Victoria Newton, 46, is chav or chic with this curious ensemble. My snapper caught her off guard at her employer's weekend away at a caravan park. The designer luggage didn't exactly match the saggy tracksuit - and it looks like that's not all that's sagging either.

Paying homage to her roots with the Liverpool FC scarf was a nice touch, considering how much Liverpool hates The Sun. Unfortunately the combination of the tracksuit, brown luggage and scarf makes Vicky look like a cross between a council-estate mum and Paddington Bear. Perhaps like that furry creature, she should have a tag attached to her saying "Please look after this hair."

I wonder if there's any marmalade in those bags? She certainly looks as though she's been getting through a few jars!

(How does that medicine taste, dear? Familiar?)

Congratulations on the award, Vicky!

From Media Guardian:

"The Sun's Bizarre team scooped the top gong at last night's 21st Shafta Awards.

The tabloid's showbiz column won the Princess Margaret award for the claim that The Priory inmates Pete Doherty, Justin Hawkins and Tom Keane were getting together to form a band.

Under the headline "Stupor Group", the story ran last August. Alas, Tom Keane said in this week's Q magazine: "Justin Hawkins wasn't even there. If you could see the scenes and the people in The Priory you wouldn't even think it worthy of an article in Bizarre. It made me really angry and really nervous.""

Unsurprisingly, Vicky left that last part out of her article yesterday.