Kylie's new album is X-rated - 22nd September

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007440152,00.html

"Kylie’s X, her first studio album in four years, will be released on November 10"

Considering this whole article has been written off the back of a press release that went out yesterday, you'd think Vicky could get the date right - the album comes out on November 26th. Screenshot.

Never Mind, It's Bollocks

Poor Vicky, must have got confused between two places! But what's 200 miles between venues, eh? It's been changed now, of course.

On another note, let's have a look at what Vicky's rivals over at the Mirror, the 3AM Girls, have to say today.

"Which gossipmonger who's been harping on about celebs being banned from the Chateau Marmont hotel, has a life ban from the LA hotspot herself? She was shown the door after angering staff there last year."

WHO CAN THEY MEAN?

I love Kylie's two hearts - 14th September

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007420803,00.html

"KYLIE MINOGUE has chosen Bizarre-backed 2 Hearts as her new single. The Pop Princess listened to my advice and decided it should be the first release from her forthcoming album."

Yes, Vicky is actually claiming credit for helping Kylie and her record company decide what to release as a single. Despite the fact that fan sites and music forums have been abuzz with the knowledge that this would be the case for weeks now. For instance, a post on the Popjustice forum on August 28th - which Vicky caught up with 3 days later.

I suspect Vicky is excited because she was mentioned in the official press release which went out yesterday: "Writing of the song, The Sun's Victoria Newton recently said: "It is a surefire No. 1, a classic Kylie song you won't stop humming. Expect her to hit No. 1 in both charts when the single and album are released in November.""

Britney shows she's a bad girl - 14th September

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2007420794,00.html

Picture EXCLUSIVE, huh? "My exclusive picture". Shame that this was released on September 6th by MTV as a promo shot for Britney's appearance at the VMAs... Even this Britney fansite had it 8 days ago.

How To Create An Exclusive by James Clench

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007420631,00.html

Ingredients:

1) Story from yesterday's People Magazine
2) Some pills
3) A vivid imagination

Funny how Britney went ballistic at her hairdresser "moments before" her performance, and yet there was still time to call a doctor, for the doctor to arrive, prescribe medication (which he happened to have with him), for her to take it and for it to take effect in her body.

Madge is Queen of Poppins - 12th September

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007420424,00.html

So here we have yet another fake EXCLUSIVE from the Bizarre stable. This tale of Madonna walking around with a strap-on in a bag was first on Just Jared on MONDAY. And yet somehow, 48 hours later, a Vicky Lackey (TM) decides this is a story no-one else has. Except for every celebrity blog on the planet.

P Diddy's fury at drugs slurs - 5th September

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007410314,00.html

Second non EXCLUSIVE of the day from a Vicky lackey. Nicking stuff from HolyMoly doesn't exactly scream "I GOT THIS FIRST", does it?

Kate's dating a new rocker - 5th September

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007410346,00.html

Time for one of Vicky's lackeys to claim EXCLUSIVE today. Not so much an exclusive as the lengthening of a story that already appeared in the Sunday Mirror three days ago. The print edition also carried the same photo that appears in today's Sun. The lackey manages to name the man (wow, three days to find that out - good sleuthing) and get a different "source". But this is hardly the stuff EXCLUSIVES are made of is it?

Are Sugababes in strife again? - 4th September

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007410139,00.html

"ALL is not sweetness and light in the SUGABABES camp. I hear the girls could be poised for yet ANOTHER change to their line-up. KEISHA BUCHANAN and HEIDI RANGE held a crisis summit about the future of new girl AMELLE BERRABAH after a string of blazing rows in the recording studio. And it seems Amelle’s days could be numbered after the girls arranged secret auditions for a new member to join the group."

A few hours later on the official Sugababes website:

"Contrary to speculation Amelle Berrabah is not leaving Sugababes. Amelle and her bandmates Keisha Buchanan and Heidi Range are in rehearsals this week for forthcoming live shows and have just completed filming for the video for their new single “About You Now” which will be released on 24th September, upfront of their new studio album “Change” which is released on 8th October. There have been no auditions for a new band member. "

So what do you think? Denying an untrue story, or cleverly using silly Vicky as a marketing tool?

Tatt's a little bit messy, Jesse - 30th August

August 30th: Jesse whined on: “Those girls I was photographed with meant nothing to me. I’d never betray Nadine. “I still love her and it is my dream that we get back together soon.” Don't hold your breath, mate.

August 13th: YOU heard it from me first – and here’s the proof that NADINE COYLE is back with Desperate Housewives hunk JESSE METCALFE.

UPDATE: September 3rd: "In another twist just three weeks ago, it looked like Nadine had forgiven him when she was snapped with her arms around him in an LA car park. But today Nadine reveals the truth behind the rumours. The singer insists Jesse NEVER cheated on her and reveals they are NOT an item again, despite those infamous pictures."

Do I even need to remind anyone which journalist took those "infamous pictures" as PROOF that Nadine and Jesse were back together? One of the pictures is reprinted today with the caption "Saying goodbye ... couple's embrace was not a sign they were getting back together."

Only a fool would have jumped to that conclusion.

Foo Fighters in V big surprise - 18th August

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007380333,00.html

"THIS Is A Call for all FOO FIGHTERS fans – you can expect an extra-special surprise today at the V Festival. I can reveal the band are going to pack a punch with a top secret gig. I hear from impeccable sources that they are also planning a surprise for their fans. They will be playing an EXTRA set today, using another name. The band will be billed as 606 and are set to perform at 1pm on the smaller Channel 4 stage in Chelmsford. 'Somehow they have managed to keep it top secret so there wasn't a big circus around it.' Until now that is...oops!"

Ah here we are again in the Land of I Can Reveal. It doesn't seem to matter that Dave Grohl has made no secret of their potential smaller gigs, leading NME back in May to headline a piece "Foo Fighters to play secret festival slots" (click picture above). He said "I don’t want to give away any suprises and I know we’re playing the big stages, but you might want to keep an eye on the side stages too.”

No, this is Vicky revealing it to us, 3 months later. A cursory glance at Foo Fighters messageboards also shows that fans have been on the ball about this for several weeks now.

Scary Spice's second splice - 9th August

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2007360705,00.html

Another day, another fake WORLD EXCLUSIVE. Funny how this morning this was just a plain old EXCLUSIVE, but has now been upgraded for some unfathomable reason.

Once again the story was reported elsewhere before Vicky got hold of it. Even the TMZ website has the decency to credit Perez Hilton with breaking the news... Maybe Vicky is trying to work out who it's better to piss off - Perez or Rebekah...

Then of course there's turning a publicist's statement:

"The couple, who are both 32, had wanted to keep the ceremony out of the public eye as they planned a more formal wedding for friends and family later in the year. Melanie and Stephen felt that they were at a good point in their lives and wanted to make a private commitment to each other. They have been good friends for many years."

into quotes from Mel B herself.

"Last night Mel said: “Stephen and I have known each other for seven years. We wanted to make a commitment. We wanted it to be private and have a big wedding with our families later in the year.”

Shameless!

UPDATE - 10th August.

"I exclusively revealed in yesterday’s paper that Mel had tied the knot with old friend Stephen."

Can you smell burning? I think Vicky's pants are on fire!

Brit's crazy for it - 8th August

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007360707,00.html

I reckon Vicky thinks this story about Britney Spears might be a WORLD EXCLUSIVE. I'm not sure whether it's the way WORLD EXCLUSIVE is printed in the newspaper, or the way WORLD EXCLUSIVE is on the front page of The Sun's website, as well as it saying WORLD EXCLUSIVE on the front page of Bizarre. Also, surprisingly, it says WORLD EXCLUSIVE on the actual page of the article too. What do you think she's trying to say with this?

Perhaps it's that no-one else has this story? I suspect that might be it. I'm going to have to assume that by WORLD, Vicky means WORLD (except America), as their equivalent of 'heat' magazine, Us Weekly, had this story and pictures on the front cover of their magazine yesterday (see mag cover above).

Rebekah has already chewed Vicky's ear for missing the Pete Doherty interview, might not be a good idea to be claiming a fake WORLD EXCLUSIVE at this point...

Blink and you'll miss it hypocrisy - 3rd August

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007350825,00.html

Ah, those heady days of January 2007, when Celebrity Big Brother and Jade Goody prompted The Sun to run with the headline 'EVICT THE FACE OF HATE' alongside various pictures of Jade in mid blink, yawn, or whatever made her look like a Nazi. This down partly to the fact that Jade had called Shilpa Shetty "Shilpa Poppadom".

Yet, a little over 6 months later, Vicky seems to think it's okay to label a photograph of Hilary Duff dressed in vaguely ethnic clothing as "Hilary Poppaduff". By 11am the caption had been changed, but not before "PrtScn" had been hit on Darwin's keyboard... Click the picture above to see the before and after.

In a similar manner, going back once again to this article in which The Sun denounced the word 'chav' as being on a par with 'paki' and 'chinky', today Vicky gives us Kerry Katona wearing "chavvy" clothes. What is this? Stereotype Friday?

The Madia: Mad's mob flick - 21st July

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007330718,00.html

A quick note to start - saying Timbaland equates to 'gangster' is about as accurate as saying Ronan Keating equates to 'thrash metal'. But onto other matters - Chris Paciello and the film Madonna apparently wants to make about his life.

"In the early Nineties Madge was completely smitten with Paciello, who worked as a “nightclub investor” at the time. She was introduced to the tough guy...by her best pal INGRID CASARES and started a passionate two-year relationship."

There were rumours - never confirmed - that Madonna and Paciello were dating. It was in 1997, not the 'early nineties', and they were rumours which lasted for about 2 months, not 2 years.

"My well-placed Madonna source said: “He led Madonna astray in 1992/1993 and most of her friends were unhappy about their relationship at the time."

I dread to think where this source is 'placed', as according to their timeline, Madonna was hanging out with him at the same time he was murdering people on behalf of the Mafia in New York, a year or two before he even moved to Miami and met Ingrid Casares - they didn't even meet until 1995.

"But I can reveal that following his release she has met him three times in the past six months to discuss making a movie about his life with her film company Maverick. A shortlist of stars has been drawn up for the project including MARK WAHLBERG, JOHN CUSACK and star of massive American sci-fi series Heroes MILO VENTIMIGLIA."

This all seemingly despite the fact that a well-received film has already been made about it, starring none other than Mark Wahlberg's brother, Donnie. It was shown on TV in the US in March 2007. Mark Wahlberg was attached to a similar project that fell through in 2004.

New Kasabian EP is bang on - 18th July

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007330097,00.html

"KASABIAN have capped an epic summer by announcing a surprise new EP — and the title track Fast Fuse has blown me away. I had the first listen to Fast Fuse yesterday and it is straight out of the rock and roll top drawer."

"the first listen", eh? I can only assume that means that nobody was listening to Zane Lowe's Radio 1 show on Monday night when he played it? Or XFM when they played it that night too? Even Kasabian's PR people sent out an email to thousands of people with the image above on Monday evening, to let fans know it was being played.

This "surprise new EP" has also been on the release schedules since the end of June, and fans on their official forum have been talking about it for a couple of weeks...

Mel B: New man has a big one - 18th July

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007330116,00.html

Simple one today - the picture on the left isn't Stephen Belafonte, it's Mel B's ex husband Jimmy Gulzar. It's almost like Vicky is saying they all look the same! Click the pic to make it large.

James goes Back To Blunt - 14th July

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007320575,00.html

"But James flew me out to his £1miilion Ibiza hideaway to hear his new songs - and insists he is relaxed about the expectations on him to deliver another chart-topping triumph."

Yes, James did fly Vicky all that way. She just forgets to mention that it was along with FORTY FIVE other hacks from various sources. Not exactly the one-on-one exclusive hearing she's implying...

Russell Brand's bedroom panic - 22nd June

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007280850,00.html

"RUSSELL BRAND has let me into a little bedroom secret – he’s had a PANIC ALARM fitted in his boudoir. After his gig at London’s Soho Theatre, the hairy funnyman told me: “I’ve got a panic alarm beside my bed.”"

Not exactly a 'secret', as aside from telling Vicky he also told all the listeners of his Radio 2 show the exact same thing on Sunday past. I guess Vicky isn't enough of a fan to listen to the radio...

Spice Girls return is certain - 22nd June

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007280820,00.html

"But the girls have been in the studio recording a new single and I hear they plan to re-release their greatest hits."

In order to re-release something, you'd have to have released it before. The Spice Girls have yet to release any Greatest Hits compilations.