First listen of Britney album - 29th September

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007450301,00.html

"But I’m the first journalist in the world to hear her new album and I can tell you — BRITNEY’s back, bitch!"

This one's a classic. It's a WORLD EXCLUSIVE. Our very own Vicky has had the world's first listen to the new Britney album. She's so excited by it that she's only managed to review three of the tracks though, and name two of the others. Which is a bit weird.

Or could it be that at the moment, only five tracks have been confirmed for the album, and, er, four of them were reviewed by Entertainment Weekly nearly 3 weeks ago? And which tracks were they given to listen to? Oh! It's Piece of Me, Radar, Break the Ice and Heaven on Earth - funnily enough the exact same songs Vicky mentions!

Entertainment Weekly: 'Piece of Me' kicks off with her standard breathy-sexy growl over a thumping hook: ''I'm Mrs. American dream/ Since I was 17.'' Then things get darker: ''I'm Mrs. Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous/I'm Mrs. 'Oh my God, that Britney's shameless'/ I'm Mrs. 'Extra, extra, this just in' / I'm Mrs. 'She's too fat, now she's too thin.'''

Vicky: It opens with the line: “I’m Mrs American Dream, since 17, they want a piece of me.” The chorus really hits home with a message about the crazy publicity circus surrounding the fallen pop princess. She sings: “I’m successful, rich and famous, I’m Mrs Oh My God I’m Britney Shameless, I’m Mrs Extra, Extra, This Just In, I’m Mrs She’s Too Big, She’s Too Thin.”

"Ah, but Vicky has lyrics to 'Heaven on Earth' which EW didn't publish!" I hear you cry. Well, it's pretty easy - the song has been floating around the internet for about a month. Have a listen yourself, and then click on 'more' where it says "This is a leaked demo..." and you too can copy and paste lyrics into any document you like.

So I think we can surmise from this that Vicky hasn't heard the new album at all, or certainly no more than is already publicly available.

Char gives birth to baby girl - 22nd September

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007440185,00.html

"CHARLOTTE CHURCH is the proud mother of a baby girl — but was told she was expecting a boy."

Really? So how come 3 weeks ago, Bizarre printed this:

"GUTTED CHARLOTTE CHURCH wanted to call her baby Ava — but MYLEENE KLASS beat her to it. Charlotte and lover GAVIN HENSON, 25, may call the tot Lucius if it is a boy."

So why would they be 'gutted' at not being able to use a girl's name if they had been told they were expecting a boy, as Vicky's lackey is claiming today? One of the stories is a lie, it seems.

Kylie's new album is X-rated - 22nd September

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007440152,00.html

"Kylie’s X, her first studio album in four years, will be released on November 10"

Considering this whole article has been written off the back of a press release that went out yesterday, you'd think Vicky could get the date right - the album comes out on November 26th. Screenshot.

Never Mind, It's Bollocks

Poor Vicky, must have got confused between two places! But what's 200 miles between venues, eh? It's been changed now, of course.

On another note, let's have a look at what Vicky's rivals over at the Mirror, the 3AM Girls, have to say today.

"Which gossipmonger who's been harping on about celebs being banned from the Chateau Marmont hotel, has a life ban from the LA hotspot herself? She was shown the door after angering staff there last year."

WHO CAN THEY MEAN?

I love Kylie's two hearts - 14th September

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007420803,00.html

"KYLIE MINOGUE has chosen Bizarre-backed 2 Hearts as her new single. The Pop Princess listened to my advice and decided it should be the first release from her forthcoming album."

Yes, Vicky is actually claiming credit for helping Kylie and her record company decide what to release as a single. Despite the fact that fan sites and music forums have been abuzz with the knowledge that this would be the case for weeks now. For instance, a post on the Popjustice forum on August 28th - which Vicky caught up with 3 days later.

I suspect Vicky is excited because she was mentioned in the official press release which went out yesterday: "Writing of the song, The Sun's Victoria Newton recently said: "It is a surefire No. 1, a classic Kylie song you won't stop humming. Expect her to hit No. 1 in both charts when the single and album are released in November.""

Britney shows she's a bad girl - 14th September

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2007420794,00.html

Picture EXCLUSIVE, huh? "My exclusive picture". Shame that this was released on September 6th by MTV as a promo shot for Britney's appearance at the VMAs... Even this Britney fansite had it 8 days ago.

How To Create An Exclusive by James Clench

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007420631,00.html

Ingredients:

1) Story from yesterday's People Magazine
2) Some pills
3) A vivid imagination

Funny how Britney went ballistic at her hairdresser "moments before" her performance, and yet there was still time to call a doctor, for the doctor to arrive, prescribe medication (which he happened to have with him), for her to take it and for it to take effect in her body.

Madge is Queen of Poppins - 12th September

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007420424,00.html

So here we have yet another fake EXCLUSIVE from the Bizarre stable. This tale of Madonna walking around with a strap-on in a bag was first on Just Jared on MONDAY. And yet somehow, 48 hours later, a Vicky Lackey (TM) decides this is a story no-one else has. Except for every celebrity blog on the planet.

P Diddy's fury at drugs slurs - 5th September

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007410314,00.html

Second non EXCLUSIVE of the day from a Vicky lackey. Nicking stuff from HolyMoly doesn't exactly scream "I GOT THIS FIRST", does it?

Kate's dating a new rocker - 5th September

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007410346,00.html

Time for one of Vicky's lackeys to claim EXCLUSIVE today. Not so much an exclusive as the lengthening of a story that already appeared in the Sunday Mirror three days ago. The print edition also carried the same photo that appears in today's Sun. The lackey manages to name the man (wow, three days to find that out - good sleuthing) and get a different "source". But this is hardly the stuff EXCLUSIVES are made of is it?

Are Sugababes in strife again? - 4th September

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007410139,00.html

"ALL is not sweetness and light in the SUGABABES camp. I hear the girls could be poised for yet ANOTHER change to their line-up. KEISHA BUCHANAN and HEIDI RANGE held a crisis summit about the future of new girl AMELLE BERRABAH after a string of blazing rows in the recording studio. And it seems Amelle’s days could be numbered after the girls arranged secret auditions for a new member to join the group."

A few hours later on the official Sugababes website:

"Contrary to speculation Amelle Berrabah is not leaving Sugababes. Amelle and her bandmates Keisha Buchanan and Heidi Range are in rehearsals this week for forthcoming live shows and have just completed filming for the video for their new single “About You Now” which will be released on 24th September, upfront of their new studio album “Change” which is released on 8th October. There have been no auditions for a new band member. "

So what do you think? Denying an untrue story, or cleverly using silly Vicky as a marketing tool?