Lennon was art breaker - 31st March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007140959,00.html

And another fake 'exclusive' from Pete Samson, one of Vicky's many lackeys. This is the same story which was doing the rounds on Thursday and has been reported web-wide since then. Imagine if one day Bizarre had a genuine exclusive...it's easy if you try.

(Screen oh-my-god-he's-been-shot)

It's a singe for Pet Shop Boys - 31st March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007140969,00.html

Funny how this 'exclusive' story was reported on the Pet Shop Boys own website 3 days ago... Or then there's this story from the New Zealand Herald, published at 5am NZ time on the 31st, which was 6pm on the 30th in the UK.

(It's a...it's a...it's a screenshot.)

Album reveals Monkeys magic - 31st March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007140935,00.html

"IT’S the most talked about, exciting and eagerly awaited album of the year. But I've had a sneak preview of ARCTIC MONKEYS follow-up Favourite Worst Nightmare and can tell you now, it's brilliant."

"I've had a sneak preview" = "I received a promo CD like hundreds of other journalists and radio stations across the country". For instance, the folks at The Fly magazine, who published a review earlier this week. Vicky is very daring with her review, heaping praise on an album that is guaranteed to be a number one bestseller - not exactly backing the horse with three legs, is it?

Of course Vicky has always got her finger on the pulse of what's going on with the Arctic Monkeys. Like when she told us how Dizzee Rascal would be appearing on the new album. Which, if her review is anything to go by, isn't the case at all.

Little Missing Joss - 30th March

There seems to be something missing from Bizarre today. There's a relatively major UK showbiz news story out there which came to light yesterday (Thursday) and yet despite having acres of print and webspace to fill with any old celebrity rubbish, Vicky seems to have decided to not include a story about her current favourite bile-target Joss Stone.

Could that be because it's a very positive story about Ms Stone having massive success in the US this week and breaking a chart record along the way? After 6 weeks or so of negative stories (right up until yesterday), digs and general nastiness towards Joss, I suppose it would make Vicky look rather silly to 'reveal' that Joss's career might not be quite as far down the pan as she hoped. I'm surprised there isn't a story telling the US they can 'keep her'. Maybe she'll fill some space with that tomorrow, eh?

Pot / Kettle Scenario - 28th March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2001320029-2007140415,00.html

Interesting piece in the TV section of The Sun today.

"CHANNEL 4 was caught up in another scandal last night after admitting its top 100 comedians poll was RIGGED. Producers counted the public votes before the poll had finished — because they suspected dirty tricks by fans. As a result, potentially thousands of votes were not counted towards the March 18 show, won by Billy Connolly."

Rigged polls? Shock! Counting votes before polls had finished? Scandal! What could be worse - except maybe awarding the prizes before the polls opened. The author of this piece could have used an example a bit closer to home, methinks...

Chris needs Top Of The Crops - 27th March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007140233,00.html

"SO now we know what CHRIS MARTIN has been up to for the past few months – growing his hair. The COLDPLAY singer paraded his dodgy barnet as he held up cute daughter Apple on a day out at a fair."

Er...you mean the same bushy haircut he's had since around the time of Band Aid 20 in late 2004?

The Stones to headline festival - 23rd March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007130626,00.html

One that only came to light today. Yesterday it was reported by Vicky that the Rolling Stones charged fans £50 to watch them on webcam announcing their European tour. Unfortunately the article has been changed online, but luckily the Google cache hasn't quite caught up yet. This prompted their PR company to issue the following statement:

A report in the Sun newspaper that the Rolling Stones charged fans to log and watch yesterday's webcast of the launch of their European tour was completely untrue. A spokesman for the band said today "Contrary to this report over a million fans were in fact able to enjoy the broadcast free of charge simply by logging onto http://www.rollingstones.com/mick"

Carm down will you lads? - 24th March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007130823,00.html

"CURVY CARMEN ELECTRA has shot up FHM’s 100 Sexiest Women list — because of claims she is having a LESBIAN affair. The ex-Baywatch babe, 34, polled 10,000 votes in the 24 hours after stories emerged alleging a relationship with rocker Joan Jett."

Totally fabricated story. First, the claims of the "lesbian affair" are over 4 months old, so why would she suddenly get a rush of votes now? Plus the voting figures aren't made available to the public so there's no way Vicky could know.

"Carmen — starring in comedy film I Want Candy..."

No?! Really?! It's almost as if the opening of this sentence is the entire reason for the article!

"...proudly wore a T-shirt emblazoned with the name of the ’80s star."

Yes, she did. Last June. Before any of the rumours started.

Carmen being "accused" of having a lesbian love affair has prompted this pointless compilation of female celebrities who have said they find other women attractive. It just happens to be exactly the same as this compilation which appeared back in January, only it was Kelly Brook who "confessed" and prompted it that time.

I'm Sick of Candy - 23rd March

And it just doesn't stop. In addition to the 4-month old news that Carmen Electra - star of new Brit comedy I Want Candy - was seen kissing Joan Jett, we have more push for the film. First, an interview with Mel C, who happens to sing the theme tune. Amusingly, Vicky is dense enough to refer to it as "I Love Candy".

And then we have a little video from the premiere of a new Brit comedy called I Want Candy (perhaps you've heard of it?) Asking 'celebrities' to work out their porn star name (including Carmen Electra, star of new Brit comedy I Want Candy) the video includes clips from a certain film - yes, it's new Brit comedy I Want Candy.

And it's not just Vicky and MY team doing this. Over at the Superbabes section of the website, who do you reckon is Babe of the Week? Yes, it's Carmen Electra! "Boasting two of tinseltowns most sought after appendages, it's a wonder that Carmen opted to star in a dinky little British film (I Want Candy, at the pics now)." (Picture 5 in the slideshow just happens to be a promo shot from a new Brit comedy called...I Want Candy!) But hang on, according to one of Vicky's lackeys today, Carmen is a dirty lesbian being 'accused' of having a relationship with another woman. But it's okay if she's showing us her t*ts, yeah?

Or you could head over to the specially dedicated slideshow for new Brit comedy I Want Candy in the Movies section of the website.

There was also the competition to win tickets to the premiere and the chance to escort Carmen Electra - star of new Brit comedy I Want Candy - down the red carpet. (Strange that she seems to be decidedly alone on the night - perhaps no-one entered? Do a search on Getty Images - there isn't a single picture of her on the red carpet with anyone.)

Another quick mention here.

And finally Johnny Vaughan's film reviews for the week. Four films reviewed, including new Brit comedy I Want Candy. Any guesses which one gets the best review and highest rating? Go on, have a guess. Yes, that's right, it's new Brit comedy I Want Candy! Four out of five. "Hats off to the British team responsible for this surefire smash. Don’t miss it." I guess that doesn't include the director then - he's Canadian.

What do other newspapers think of the film? The Guardian - "dire sex comedy" - one out of five. The Times - "Juvenile and fatuous" - one out of five. The Mirror - "pitiful". Daily Express - "lame script" - two out of five. Metro - "painfully unfunny" - one out of five.

Did Johnny Vaughan actually see the same film? If he even wrote the review of course.

Baywatch babe 'a lesbian' - 23rd March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007130578,00.html

"Carmen, who is in London to promote her new movie I Want Candy..."

Really? I never knew that! It must be a whole 24 hours since the film was last mentioned in the paper.

Could it be that this old story which everyone else seemed to be reporting last November, has been dragged up simply for the purposes of getting Carmen - star of new Brit comedy I Want Candy - in the paper again?

Let's go back to March 29th 2006 to find an article where Carmen - star of new Brit comedy I Want Candy - says she used to have a crush on Joan Jett. Where could we find such a thing? Ah, how about in The Sun? Or how about a piece on the music video Joan and Carmen (star of new Brit comedy I Want Candy) made together? Oh, here's one - from The Sun back in May last year.

"Carmen appeared in 48-year-old Joan’s A.C.D.C. video and is tipped to attend next week’s Dinah Shore Weekend with her."

Nothing to do with the fact that Carmen (star of new Brit comedy I Want Candy) is already going to be appearing with her burlesque / cabaret act 'The Bombshell Babies', an appearance which has been scheduled since last August?

"Joan has refused to discuss her sexuality. But her A.C.D.C. track contains the lyric: “She got some other lover as well as me.”"

Amusing how Vicky's lackey feels he has to extract a lyric to try and prove some hint of lesbian goings-on when the song's title - and indeed the song - is referencing bisexuality.

Char's big day dogged by pervs - 22nd March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007130401,00.html

"CHARLOTTE CHURCH is rethinking her wedding venue — after being told the castle is a top spot for DOGGING."

On Monday The Sun re-started the rumours of Charlotte n Gavin wanting to get married at Castell Coch. But now it seems they will be reconsidering that venue. In fact now they might not get married there at all. A bit odd that's she's "rethinking" something which her management has said wasn't even true in the first place... Wouldn't be a case of MY team having to do a bit of back-pedalling to cover their mistakes, would it?

Bizarre Roundup - 22nd March

If you listen to Elton John, George Michael, Abba, or some other million-selling artists, this means you are GAY. Got that? (PS - only one member of Erasure is gay.)

More unequivocal support for Robbie, with a headline very sympathetic to any mental health issues he might be dealing with.

Matt Lucas is our No1 fan - 22nd March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2007130406,00.html

"Matt and Peter each appear in the video in wheelchairs, as their TV alter egos Andy “I’ll have that one” Pipkin and Brian Potter — with The Proclaimers providing backing vocals."

Ah yes, "I'll have that one". Up there with the other great comedy catchphrases such as Mr Humphries' "I'm available!", "Don't get stressed!" from Dad's Army and "Listen very carefully, I won't repeat myself." from Allo Allo...

"This week Charlie and Craig made the 500-mile trip from Edinburgh to my Bizarre HQ in Wapping, East London to tell me about their relationship with Matt Lucas."

It's 408 miles from Edinburgh to London. And they made the journey just for Vicky! Despite already being in London for Chris Moyles on Tuesday morning and for GMTV tomorrow morning...

Carmen is as sweet as Candy - 21st March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2004580002-2007130281,00.html

Oh look! More publicity for the News International financed film 'I Want Candy'. What a surprise...

Lotte's fairytale castle wedding - 19th March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/1,,2007120847,00.html

MY team lackey John Coles, 19th March: "PREGNANT CHARLOTTE CHURCH and rugby star boyfriend GAVIN HENSON are to wed next month in a fairytale Welsh castle. The singer and chat show host, 21, is desperate to tie the knot before her tummy bump gets bigger. She picked Castell Coch — Welsh for red castle — because it is close to her home city of Cardiff."

Richard Smith, The Mirror, 2nd March: "Another friend said: "Charlotte's always wanted a wedding in Castell Coch and has set aside two dates in April. She's an old-fashioned girl from a Catholic family and would want to get wed without a bump showing.""

(Screenshot)

Rocker Johnny is Dun-struck - 17th March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007120701,00.html

"RAZORLIGHT star JOHNNY BORRELL has pulled Hollywood beauty KIRSTEN DUNST, I can exclusively reveal."

How about this blog 'revealing' that yesterday?

Madonna moves to New York - 17th March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007120662,00.html

"Madonna’s dad has been receiving treatment for colon cancer in Leelanau County Hospital, Michigan, which is relatively close to New York."

1) Her dad has had prostate cancer, not colon cancer.

2) Michigan is 650 miles away from New York. That's like saying "Madonna's dad is really ill in London, so she's going to move to Berlin to be near him."

Jolie calls son Peaceful Sky - 16th March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007120504,00.html

Today's non-exclusive comes from US Cut and Paster (oh, sorry, 'Editor') Emily Smith. There is not a single exclusive piece of information in this article. Try this piece from Reuters written over 24 hours ago.

"Adoption forms, signed on February 7 and seen by The Sun, show orphanage bosses had named him Pham Quang Sang..."

Seems like every other news agency in the world must have seen those papers too, as they report the same thing.

Whose Party Is It Anyway? - 15th March

Looks like Vicky needs to get MY team "singing from the same hymn sheet" if two articles are anything to go by. Yesterday Beci Wood reckons Elton John had a 60th birthday party and shared it with Sam Taylor-Wood's 40th, and then today in a piece with a delightfully homophobic headline, Kathryn Lister reckons it was just Sam's bash. Oh, and tell whichever member of MY team who does your slideshow photo captions that it's Trudie STYLER and not Tyler.

Bucks Fizz in telly comeback - 15th March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007120338,00.html

"I’d love to see a tubby Bobby G and Mike Nolan tear large skirts from middle-aged mums Cheryl Baker and Jay Aston."

Perhaps if Vicky is trying to drum up support, it might be a good idea to not call them fat? But anyway, click on the picture above from Shelley Preston's website, taken last year during the filming of the Comic Relief video. So not much need for a "mock-up of how they might look". Why not just use a real and available image? Ah, because then Vicky wouldn't be able to criticise the way someone looks (even if it's not true) and that can't happen.

UPDATE: Quote from the administrator of the official Bucks Fizz website: "I have spoken to Bobby today and there are no plans or never have been to do Making Your Mind Up on Saturday night for him or Cheryl, Mike and Jay - this is just a publicity stunt from The Sun newspaper." Hmm...

Lohan's dad released from jail - 14th March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2004580002-2007120219,00.html

Let's play a game! How many differences can you find between the Bizarre article linked above and this one from today's IMDB News?

I'm currently spotting a whole TEN WORDS!

(Obligatory screenshot in case of changes.)

Joss is sinking like a Stone - 14th March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007120084,00.html

First, I'll say I'm not a fan of any of the artists mentioned here. But it's a rather melodramatic piece from Vicky today regarding Joss Stone's album looking like it won't get into the Top 10 this weekend when the official album charts are announced.

"national laughing stock", "meteoric fall from grace" - this isn't Jade Goody we're talking about here, it's a 19 year-old girl who has developed a weird accent and dyed her hair. Calm down, dear, it's just a teenager. And who has been one of her most vocal and visible critics, gleefully drawing attention to every "PR disaster"? Yes, step forward Victoria Newton.

Two X-Factor losers are beating her in the charts - big deal. They had millions of people watching them on TV every week for 2 months at the end of last year - Joss has been out of the limelight for 2 years. The X-Factor releases have been timed to coincide with Mother's Day too, a very competitive week, when people will buy almost anything Mum-friendly in desperation. Why should she "expect" a Top 3 placing?

"Most embarrassing for Joss is that another annoying curly redhead looks set for the Top Ten. That’s right, SIMPLY RED’s new album Stay is stuffing Joss’s effort too. When you lose to MICK HUCKNALL in a popularity contest you know it’s time to pack your bags."

Putting some perspective on this comment, this is Simply Red's 12th album in a 22 year career, and only one of those previous 11 has missed the Top 5. They are still very popular. Their last two albums reached #2 and #3, so if we're using previous chart performance as a benchmark for current success, then 'Stay' is actually performing poorly as it's 'only' at #6 in the midweeks. I can't see the article screaming SIMPLY DEAD - BAND FAIL TO REACH TOP 5 anywhere though.

Strange, that.

Oh My, something smells fishy - 13th March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2004580002-2007120016,00.html

Victoria Newton, The Sun, 13th March 2007: "SHE's always struck me as a Klassy lady. But TV beauty MYLEENE KLASS has revealed she's planning to serve up fish and chips at her wedding. She told me: "I don't want any fancy stuff - fish and chips will do me fine. I've already got a van sorted."

Deborah Ross, The Independent, 6th January 2007: "And, of course, we talk about the forthcoming wedding. She's yet to choose a venue but hopes to do so this month. All she knows is that there will be Guinness on tap, as Graham is Irish, and maybe a fish and chip van, for the fun of it."

It's Sir Paul Mocha-rtney! - 13th March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007110743,00.html

One problem with plagiarism is that if the person you are copying from makes mistakes, and you don't bother to check what you're copying, you're liable to repeat those errors. Vicky has fallen for this before with an article about Marilyn Manson, where she copied a story from the New York Post. And now she's repeated another factually incorrect article which appeared two days ago in - again - the New York Post. (No surprise of course that News Corporation owns both The Sun and NY Post, so maybe it's more like inbreeding than plagiarism...)

Let's have a look at the foul-ups and other 'remarkable' similarities...

NY Post: "The formation of Starbucks Records, as the unit is expected to be called..."
Vicky: "...and it now looks like they have landed one of the biggest names in the game to launch Starbucks Records."

[Unfortunately, turning something "expected" into a solid fact doesn't always work, as it was announced yesterday that they're sticking with the existing name of Hear Music.]

NY Post: " Launching a record label is something "that has been bandied about for quite a while," said one source."
Vicky: "Starbucks have been plotting the music venture for a while..."

NY Post: "Unlike its Hear Music operation, which releases the Artists Choice compilation series that features musicians such as Sheryl Crow or The Rolling Stones selecting songs that influenced them, Starbucks Records is expected sign, record and produce its own artists rather than licensing songs from other labels."
Vicky: "There is already an arm of Starbucks called Hear Music releasing compilations called Artist’s Choice, which have featured stars such as the ROLLING STONES and SHERYL CROW selecting songs that influenced them. But Starbucks Records is expected to sign, record and produce its own artists rather than license other labels’ songs."

NY Post: "Starbucks Hear Music had its greatest success with the release of Ray Charles' "Genius Loves Company," a co-production with Concord Records that went on to win eight Grammy awards including Album of the Year."
Vicky: "Hear Music had its greatest success with the release in 2004 of the late soul star RAY CHARLES’ final album, Genius Loves Company — a co-production with Concord Records that won eight post-humous [sic] Grammy awards including Album Of The Year."

NY Post: "The caffeine pusher has enough licensing deals in place with major and independent record labels to build its own digital-music store a la Apple's iTunes, or it could bring in a partner to help build the digital infrastructure."
Vicky: "I hear the coffee conglomerate also plans to start a digital music download site with another major company."

NY Post: "There have been talks about putting kiosks in its shops so that customers can shop for music and create their own compilations while waiting for their $5 cup of joe."
Vicky: "There have also been talks about putting kiosks in Starbucks shops so customers can create their own compilations while waiting for a brew."

[This is something Starbucks tried and failed at already back in 2004, and then withdrew from most locations in May 2006.]

And to finish off, Vicky lists some 'hilarious' Starbucks-inspired song titles, the first of which is "Let It Bean". And the title of the New York Post article? Yep, "Let It Bean"...

(Danke neununddreißig)

Biz Bites - 13th March

Keep up, Vicky - Freebass have been going since around November 2005... Now they've got around to recording an album, the details of which you've taken from an NME piece 4 days ago.

Wad's up with you, Robbie? - 12th March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007110605,00.html

Inside Vicky's head: "Okay, Robbie has been out of rehab for a bit now. I was nice when he was in there, I did the caring sharing crap with the get well cards, but I'm bored of him again. I'll lead off gently and criticise his clothes, mention that his new single 'limped' into the charts, and suggest his career is on the skids. Oh, and to finish off I'll suggest he should get back together with Take That, whose current success I put down as one of the reasons he went into rehab in the first place. Get well soon, Robbie."

Madge naked on Nip/Tuck - 12th March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007110610,00.html

MY team lackey Pete Samson comes up with the week's first fake 'exclusive'. This story first appeared on the wires on Saturday and has been all over the net and back in the past 48 hours.

(Obligatory screenshot in case of changes.)

UPDATE: Hours later, something else occurred to me - I can only assume Mr Samson has never watched Nip/Tuck if he thinks Madonna will be "showing all". As the programme is not on cable TV in the US, you never even see an exposed female nipple. So Madge will not be seen naked anyway.

Sigourney to play a stripper - 10th March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2004580002-2007110391,00.html

"SIGOURNEY WEAVER is in great shape for her age. But I'm not sure that at 60 she looks good enough to strip half naked on screen."

How about at 57, which is her actual age? Gypsy Rose Lee also stopped stripping before she was 50, and the film in question will be concentrating on the later years of her life. Vicky just can't resist getting in a little dig about the supposed inadequacies of the way someone looks, can she?

Mr Nasty gives judge Louis sack - 9th March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/1,,2007110351,00.html

Click the pic above for a bigger version. These days the words "Exclusive by Victoria Newton" are about as accurate as "I Haven't Got Any Money by Simon Cowell".

So despite re-writing a press release that went out late yesterday and padding it out with a bit of made-up rumour and drama, what is 'exclusive' about a story that was (for example) on the Media Guardian site at 5:45pm yesterday or the BBC website 13 minutes later? Plus almost every other tabloid is carrying the story today. Maybe just putting the words in a different order renders it an 'exclusive'?

Sell, Sell, Sell! - 9th March

Today's Bizarre reads a bit like a catalogue rather than a showbiz column. The main article of the day is promoting some bloke's eBay auction. Or we've got a 'video special' promoting the second series of the dire 'Extras' on DVD. Or snippets from the latest edition of Vogue - pick up your copy at your local newsagents!

On a side note, a while ago Vicky decided to call people who wore sunglasses indoors or at night "Dim Shadys". Today in a puff piece about Jennifer Lopez we get "The Latino singer dazzled passers-by with her canary yellow number, golden tan and Dim Shady glasses."

A pity then that the accompanying photo shows J-Lo in, er, bright sunshine.

Chem Romance video exclusive - 8th March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007110133,00.html

"Now they’re releasing another excellent track in I Don’t Love You — and the boys have chosen Bizarre to launch the video on the internet."

Looks to me like they chose YouTube to launch the video, where it has been available since yesterday...

And it's "another excellent track"? Back in October last year Vicky said "They’re not my cup of tea but at least the Yank band are causing a stir."

Vicky also agreed with Kasabian who found it "depressing" that the "phenomenon of American emo, or emotional, music — think miserable teenage goths — has spread to the UK." She continues: "Their music appeals to depressed and disaffected teenagers and their forthcoming album Black Parade includes cheerfully-named tracks such as Dead, Cancer and The End."

Then she said they were "ghouls", "miserable" and "dreary". But then in the same article calls their album "a work of epic genius". Oh now I'm really confused...does she like them or not?

(thanks to daysleeper)

Robbie's back and on the town - 8th March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007110148,00.html

"And his dad Pete Conway told me it is thanks to Bizarre readers that Rob is “tickety boo”. Pete said: “It’s amazing the support he’s received. He’s had sackloads of cards and messages from fans. On Valentine’s Day alone he got 57,000 cards. I don’t know how he’ll get through them all."

Yes, it was nothing to do with doctors, nurses, counsellors or anyone who worked at the rehab clinic Robbie has been in for weeks - it was MY readers who have helped Robbie through it. Particular thanks of course must go to Vicky and her constant support (since he went into rehab, but not before when she consistently slagged him off).

Robbie Williams has quit rehab - 7th March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2007100725,00.html

A fake 'Exclusive' by two of Vicky's minions today, adding in a few extra points to the story that HolyMoly broke last night. Nice try, though!

Mel C is Electr-ic in leather - 6th March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2004580002-2007100609,00.html

"I'VE got an exclusive sneak peek of Melanie C's music video for new single I Want Candy. The former Spice Girl has recorded the soundtrack for CARMEN ELECTRA'S saucy new movie of the same name."

What, she's recorded the whole soundtrack? Anyway...a semi-exclusive here, as the main video has been available on Mel C's website since last Friday, but this version with film clips was announced as being given exclusively to The Sun.

Cast your minds back to January though, and remember that this is another piece of promotion for a film which one of The Sun's associate companies, Sky Movies, part-financed. I said back then to expect more coverage, and here we go... One of today's Biz Bites pieces also mentions the film.

UPDATE: The original article has been re-written on the site today, but here's a screenshot of the original in case it gets removed!

Madge makes an arresting sight - 5th March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007100376,00.html

"IS this really MADONNA being led off by a cop? Look a little closer, it is actually the Queen Of Pop having a laugh at GUY-MCA. And the singer giggled like a naughty schoolgirl as she was escorted home by Guy in his camp New York Police Department outfit. You might giggle too if your bloke wore that VILLAGE PEOPLE-style look – complete with moustache."

Hey, NYPD - Vicky thinks you're all gay. Nice comparison to the Village People there. Just a bit unfortunate that the "cop" in that particular group wore a motorcycle helmet, leather jacket, and usually a blue shirt and tight white trousers. And had a goatee and not a moustache. And was black. And straight.

Readers made Robbie smile - 2nd March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007100112,00.html

"ROBBIE WILLIAMS is on the mend – thanks to your messages of support. And his mum Jan is flying to the States to show him your heart-warming letters."

Yeah, I'm sure that's the only reason she's going. But if she hasn't shown them to him yet, how can they be helping him? And on Wednesday, Vicky said "As part of his treatment he cannot receive letters or use the internet to read hundreds of messages of support and can only make regulated phone calls." so how is she going to be showing him these letters until he's out of there anyway?

Saints single is relegated - 1st March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007090704,00.html

"THE ALL SAINTS comeback looks doomed. New single chas [sic] been relegated to a download-only release, their tour was cancelled and MELANIE BLATT and the rest of the band pulled out of a gig on Saturday because of “illness”."

19th with the news once again, Vicky repeats details of the single given to us by the Mirror a full 10 days ago. Also, no tour was ever announced, and the G-A-Y stint was cancelled nearly a week ago. So armed with all this bad news, plus an album that well and truly flopped months ago, "Mystic Vic" manages to tell us that the comeback "looks doomed". Such insight!

(thanks to james)

Charlotte: I'm up the daff - 1st March

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007100045,00.html

"The heavenly beauty has confirmed she is expecting her own little angel - only a week after The Sun reported baby rumours when she snubbed booze at her own 21st birthday bash."

Could it be the "baby rumours", started by The Sun last Friday, which prompted this statement on Charlotte's website today?

"In an ideal world, we would not have made this announcement so early in the pregnancy. However, due to recent speculation and persistent questions from the media about this most private of matters, Charlotte felt she had no choice other than to go public..."

Unsurprisingly, this part of the statement was not included in Bizarre's article. Well done, though! Nothing like putting pressure on a girl in the early stages of her first pregnancy. Hope you're proud of yourselves. Can't imagine Charlotte will be rushing to you with any exclusives in the near future though...