Cat fight is all Suga and spite - 30th November

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2006550620,00.html

"EX-SUGABABES MUTYA BUENA and SIOBHAN DONAGHY are sharpening their claws for the year’s biggest cat fight. I can reveal the girls will go head to head when their debut solo albums are released next March."

What was Siobhan's 2003 album "Revolution In Me", then? A pre-debut solo album? In addition, Mutya's album is currently scheduled for March 5th, and Siobhan's for March 26th, a full 3 weeks apart. Not shaping up to be much of a "head to head" fight really.

"Siobhan and Mutya haven’t spoken since Siobhan quit the band mid-tour in 2001... A source said: “There was no love lost. Their charts battle will be very interesting.”"

I'd get some new sources, Vicky. Mutya and Siobhan have added each other as 'friends' on their official MySpace pages. When asked about it via MySpace by a couple of fans Siobhan said (in two different responses):

"It's irrelevant who requested who. There has never been any problems between me and Mutya. We're cool. Loving her new tune too. It's very much the kind of stuff I've always thought she should be doing. She sounds fab!"

"Yep me and Mutya are cool. We've been chatting on here lately. Me and her never had any problems anyway but it's good to speak to her, I miss her."

and when asked about it Mutya said (forgive the txt spk):

"me siobhan still have contact, same 2 me an keisha, heidi dnt talk to no more"

So when Vicky starts trying to heat this fight up again nearer the time, remember something - there is no fight.

(Link: Screenshot of article in case of future changes.)

Biz Bites - Sandi Thom - 30th November

A member of Sandi's official forum had this to say about a concert Sandi did in Aberdeen last month:

"Lonely Girl was given the full Sandi treatment, she told us that she got a necklace from Argos specially made with "Lonely Girl" on [it]."

Poor Sandi, she hates the necklace so much that she wears it on stage in front of hundreds of people and tells them where she got it from...

Paris Teaches Britney to Strip - 29th November

Paris hits the town.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2004580002-2006550531,00.html

Another day, another 27 Paris Hilton stories. Unfathomably, this one is a 'Picture Special'. I'm taking it to mean that the solitary picture contained within the article was Photoshopped by someone a bit 'special' as it is surely the worst piece of digital manipulation since, well, that one of Liam Gallagher in Take That from earlier today.

Click the link, take a look. Paris looks like she's auditioning for a part in The Thing.

Robbie silences his naan-y army - 28th November

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2004580002-2006550344,00.html

Not really sure how this is "Showbiz Latest". The story was first reported 6 days ago here and was also in The People over the weekend, brought to us by none other than Eamonn Holmes. Yes Vicky, Eamonn Holmes scooped you. The story has even appeared in China prior to Bizarre. Bizarre: 181st with the news!

WARNING - Incoming Inappropriate Gloat

Prepare yourselves for tomorrow's Bizarre. Based on first day sales, Take That have indeed knocked 'Pestlife' from the top of the album charts. Selling approximately 47,000 copies yesterday (against Oasis at number 2 with 43,000) this will give Vicky cause to positively explode with the possessive adjectives. MY CAMPAIGN has helped push MY TAKE THAT to the top of MY ALBUM CHART with MY SALES of MY 47,000 MY COPIES. MY BOYS thanked ME ME ME ME ME for all MY HARD WORK.

The best we can hope for is that Take That don't end up at number one on Sunday.

UPDATE 29th November: A suprisingly restrained approach this morning, just a brief mention of the album sales in the middle of a bafflingly long and speculative article based around the fact that Liam Gallagher says "hello" to Gary Barlow if he sees him in the street.

Mine Mine Mine

MINE

As mentioned in the original "mission statement", Ms Newton has a habit of putting the word "my" before photographers, cameramen, Photoshop experts and entire websites, trying to convince us she has a small army of paps and experts at her beck and call. These brief interludes will demonstrate.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2004580002-2006550183,00.html

Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton - "The two had a screaming row outside Paris's Hollywood mansion - and my video crew were there to catch it all. The argument started when Lindsay left a party her rival was throwing - telling my video crew that "Paris Hilton is crazy" and had elbowed and thrown a drink over her."

So this "my" video crew will be independent news agency SplashNews will it? Pretty easy to work that out considering you've credited them at the end of the article. And yet you still somehow think it's plausible to use possessive adjectives.

P.S. - how do you elbow a drink?

UPDATE 28th November: The wording of the article has now been changed to remove the "my" from the first sentence I quoted above, but not the second. You missed one, Vicky.

(Link: SplashNews)

VickyWatch Classic - Jenny Frost

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2004192159,00.html

Back in 2004, the world had just managed to regain a foothold on its axis after the split of Atomic Kitten. 'We' were 'all' wondering what the girls would do next. Thankfully, Vicky was there to tell us. Ready?

She will release her debut single in August (2004). Nope, it was more than a year later that any solo material appeared.

She was the first signing to ex-Atomic Kitten manager Martin O'Shea's record label 'Integral'. Nope. The label was called 'Integral RPM' for a start, and had 5 other acts signed to it at the time the article was written. Nor was the label "...hastily set up..." - it had been running for over a year at that point.

Record label called in ex-Deconstruction Records man Keith Blackhurst to help out. He was already involved in the label before Ms Frost was signed.

Jenny's ex-bandmate Liz McLarnon was being wooed by two major labels and due to be signed by BMG "...within days...". Never happened - she signed to independent dance label All Around The World (the same one Jenny Frost ended up on funnily enough) and didn't release any material until 2006.

That was quite a bad one, Vic!

Guy 'n Dolls for Chambers - November 25th 2006

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2006540861,00.html

"ROBBIE WILLIAMS’ ex-songwriter GUY CHAMBERS is creating a West End musical. It will be interesting to see if Robbie appears — though he and Guy haven’t spoken since falling out in 2003."

Robbie Williams, speaking at a press conference in Germany in 2005: "Me and Guy are friends again. We speak now and will be working together in the future, you'll all be pleased to hear."

Guy Chambers, speaking in a Guardian interview in May 2005: "Anyway, he continues, "we're talking again now". He drops it into the conversation nonchalantly, between mouthfuls of tabbouleh and a shrug. "I went to the Troubador in LA to see Coldplay and he was there at the same gig. It's a small club, so I bumped into him at the bar and we had a hug and afterwards there was an aftershow and we had a little chat together and then we went for dinner the following week and had a really, really good chat."

(Quote source: Williams, Chambers )

Holly's Soaking Wet Bikini Fight - 24th November 2006

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2004580002-2006540586,00.html

"WHEN I put the trailer for HOLLY VALANCE'S new film Dead Or Alive on my website earlier this year thousands of you logged on to watch it. Unfortunately, Miramax have delayed plans to release the film in Europe. But I'll keep bringing you the clips as they come in."

MY website, huh? Anyway, for all the breast-starved video gamers out there, Buena Vista International (Miramax are the film's US distributors) may have delayed plans to release the film in Europe, but not the UK, where it was released in September. Not only have we had the film, it has been and gone from cinemas and is in fact out on DVD here in 6 weeks. From what I can see, the UK is about the only country that has even had the film released yet. So thanks for your effort and concern, but I reckon a full DVD will be slightly more in demand than a few Windows Media clips.

(Link: Buy the DVD)

VickyWatch Classic - Englebert Humperdinck

The first in a series of occassional glances back at the poo Victoria trod in during her formative years at The Sun.

This situation concerned one of her infamous "campaigns". Back in 2004, the Englebert Humperdinck track "Release Me" was being used in a television advert for John Smith's bitter (the ad starred comedian Peter Kay and Mr Humperfluffle himself). Ms Newton used the popularity of this advert to launch a campaign to get the song re-released as a single (and yes, the inevitable headline was "Please Re-Release Me"). She was determined to get Englebert back to number one, and urged Sun readers to help out. How could the campaign fail when she was receiving messages such as ""Lorraine, from Hornsby, Cumbria, texted: "Hi Victoria, gr8 news about Engelbert." The execs at the record company must have been quaking at this display of influence.

Slight problem - the single was already scheduled for release at the time she wrote the article. In fact it had been for a couple of weeks at that point. Oh dear. So what next? She didn't? She did. A couple of days later she claimed "my campaign" had been a success and the single was scheduled for re-release. Englebert PERSONALLY THANKED her for her efforts.

The sweetest end to this story is that when the single was re-released, on June 6th 2004, it tanked and ended up at #51, dropping out of the chart the following week. Needless to say, "my campaign" was never referred to again.

Take That Wade Into Album War - November 24th 2006

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2006540630,00.html

"I’M delighted to report the Mancunian army is sticking together in the OASIS vs WESTLIFE album chart war. Fellow Manc GARY BARLOW has stepped forward to defend the honour of NOEL and LIAM GALLAGHER."

Gary Barlow isn't from Manchester. Here's a quote from him in October 2006. "Everyone assumes I`m from Manchester but I`ve always tried to let everybody know I`m actually from Cheshire, and Frodsham...for those of us who live in these parts it is important – we don`t want to be from Manchester."

Sounds like someone from the 'Mancunian army' may already have broken ranks.

(Quote source: icCheshireOnline)

Pet Rob Boys - November 17th 2006

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2006530470,00.html

"PET SHOP BOYS will bring in the new year by having a Highland Fling with ROBBIE WILLIAMS. NEIL TENNANT and CHRIS LOWE are headlining the famous New Year’s Eve celebrations in Edinburgh. And the whisky-fuelled revellers are in line for a late Christmas present with a guest appearance from the Pets’ pop pal Robbie."

Simple rebuttal to this one, from the Pet Shop Boys themselves on their website that same day: "The next PSB show will be in Edinburgh on December 31st. (No truth in the rumour that Robbie Williams will be guesting there!)"

"She’s Madonna will be released as a joint Robbie/Pet Shop Boys single in January and will coincides [sic] with the start of the Boys’ full UK tour the same month."

At the time she wrote this, and at the time I am writing this, the Pet Shop Boys have not announced a UK tour. The release of the single is also, at this point, unconfirmed.

(Quote source: Pet Shop Boys Official Website)

Welcome to VickyWatch.

Six days a week, millions of people read The Sun newspaper in the UK. Probably millions more read parts of the newspaper via their website. It's the biggest selling daily newspaper in the UK.

They have a showbiz section entitled 'Bizarre'. It has been running for years, and had several 'owners' - by that I mean people who pass everything in the section off as their own work and get their name above the title.

At the moment it is 'Victoria Newton's Bizarre' (and yes, she is.) She can also claim the title "Showbiz Reporter of the Year" after winning said title in 2006 at the British Press Awards.

She does frequently get interviews with major stars. As I said, it's the biggest selling newspaper, so the celebs know it does them some good. She does get to go to a lot of events, awards, concerts, usually with backstage access (we know because there are at least three pictures a week of her standing with a perspiring actor or musician against a curtain). If reports are to be believed she isn't, however, particularly popular. She is tolerated because of who she works for and the publicity she can bring.

So what's the problem? Well, simply that there are so many mistakes in her column. From basic facts to downright lies. And if you are (allegedly) earning £150,000 per year, having more people reading your column than any other newspaper showbiz column in the country, and winning awards then I feel you really should be getting things right.

Taking credit for other people's work is also an issue at times. Usually whenever a photo taken by a random paparazzi photographer appears, he or she becomes "my snapper" - suggesting this is Ms Newton's personal photographer taking pictures JUST for her column, when the fact is that any publication could have had these pictures at the right price.

Another common feature is the use of the words "I can exclusively reveal" which more often than not truly mean "I have received a press release" or "I have read this on the internet". In addition you may also see "I have had the first listen to...*insert name of artist and their forthcoming album/single*" which is rarely true - more often than not this can be translated as "I sat in a room with 50 other journalists and listened to".

Private Eye once devoted their "Hack Watch" column to Ms Newton, pointing out stories she had run which later turned out to be complete nonsense. (The classic that sticks out in my mind is her 'exclusively revealing' that Madonna's next album would be a rock-driven affair with lots of heavy guitar - this turned out to be 'Confessions On A Dance Floor')

This blog is to point out that sort of thing too, but also to highlight her general mistakes, whenever they occur. It's not every single day, but it's frequent. No, I'm not jealous of her and no, I am not a journalist, nor do I wish to be.

What's the point of it? you may ask, to which I reply "Have you seen the shite people write blogs about?"