Saturday, 27 October 2007

Take That star's hospital agony - 27th October

A statement was published on Take That's official website yesterday, informing people that band member Howard Donald was in hospital and wouldn't be taking part in last night's show in Vienna.

This, somehow, not only got turned into an EXCLUSIVE by Vicky, but has ended up on the front page of the newspaper as the day's main story. Now, is it an exclusive because no-one else had the story, or an exclusive because no-one in their right mind would consider a story about a member of a reformed boyband being injured as being more important that any other news story in the entire world? I think it just shows quite how low The Sun is sinking.

Wednesday, 24 October 2007

New Brit tracks on The Sun - 23rd October

"BRITNEY SPEARS is back. And this is the only place on the entire planet you can listen to FIVE tracks from her new album."

Yes...apart from the website linked on the bottom of the media player -

which is where it has been pilfered from in the first place.

Tuesday, 23 October 2007

New Spice Girls track leaked - 23rd October

"THE new SPICE GIRLS single Headlines was leaked on the internet yesterday – weeks before the planned release. The girls’ label EMI called in legal eagles to get the audio recording taken off YouTube. But SPORTY, POSH, GINGER, SCARY and BABY kindly let me have the first full listen to the track yesterday. And I can reveal it is classic Spice ballad material in the style of 2 Become 1 – their No1 from 1996."

The full track has not leaked on the internet, it was a 30-second clip which was legally given to the website in the US. People then ripped this clip and uploaded it to YouTube.

But if the full song had leaked, which Vicky is claiming, then that means people would have heard it. So how can she have had the "first full listen"? That doesn't even make sense.

Friday, 19 October 2007

Shaun takes on X Factor winner - 19th October

"SHAUN THE SHEEP is hot to trot to land this year's festive chart-topper, I can reveal. And WALLACE & GROMIT's pal could be the main challenger to the winner from the X Factor herd because I hear his track Life's A Treat is not half baa-d. And he has had words of encouragement from comic VIC REEVES - his voice in 1995's Oscar-winning short film Wallace and Gromit in A Close Shave."

Where to start? "I's not half baa-d" - an opinion that could be formed by any 3 year-old who watches the Shaun the Sheep TV series, as "Life's A Treat" is the theme tune.

Vic Reeves didn't do Shaun's voice in A Close Shave - Shaun doesn't speak, and never has. He just bleats.

The Vic Reeves connection is that he performs "Life's A Treat", and it will be Vic who actually performs the Christmas single - so it won't even be Shaun the Sheep in the running for the Christmas number one, it'll be Vic Reeves.

Ewe need to do better research, Vicky.

Amy arrested by Norway cops - 19th October

Ooh, naughty naughty! No, not Amy, I mean Danielle Lawler, sticking EXCLUSIVE on this article which was published this morning, when it was the HolyMoly website which broke the story at around 8pm last night. Websites from New York to Melbourne have credited Holy Moly for it, but not our good old Bizarre column!

Monday, 15 October 2007

Hear Orson's new album first - 15th October

"ORSON return next Monday with a brand new album, but you can listen to it here first. I’ve got my hands on Culture Vultures before anyone else on the planet and am streaming the entire 11 track collection below."

Anyone else on the planet? So how did Female First review it last week? Or you could go along to 7Digital, where you can also listen to previews of every track.

Razorlight future is uncertain - 15th October

THE future of RAZORLIGHT doesn’t look too sharp – I can reveal JOHNNY BORRELL is working on solo projects. Another insider told me: “It’s been on the cards for a while because no one can stand working with him. The band are on the brink of splitting up – everybody just wants to move on now.”

FemaleFirst, August 28th:
Rocker JOHNNY BORRELL's RAZORLIGHT bandmates are begging him to release a solo record - because he's too creative for one band. Borrell is so obsessed with music, drummer Andy Burrows fears he'll explode if he can't find other ways to express himself. Burrows says, "I really wish he would do a solo record. He's got material coming out of his ears, that goes does not stop working. He writes on tour, he writes in his sleep, he writes all the bloody time. There's so much great stuff."

Saturday, 13 October 2007

Brit's a hit with raunchy album - 13th October

"Last month I told you I’d had the first listen to the album and it was actually quite good. Now I can reveal the cover and tracklist."

Let's translate this:

"Last month I copied a 3 week-old article from Entertainment Weekly and listened to some songs on YouTube and told you I'd had the first listen to the album. Now despite having listened to it before, I'm only now telling you the tracklist, even though if I'd already heard the album, I should have been able to reveal the tracklist two weeks ago - right? Oh, and by "I can reveal" I actually mean "I cut and pasted this from the numerous celebrity blogs which had it on Friday afternoon.""

Thursday, 11 October 2007

Rock stars Q up to bore us - 10th October

"SADLY, this year’s Q Awards heralded one of the most uneventful evenings ever for good old-fashioned rock ’n’ roll behaviour. Monday night could only muster some four letter words from STEREOPHONICSKELLY JONES and SIR PAUL McCARTNEY and — DAMON ALBARN aside — a bit of mild boozing."

'Evenings'? 'Monday night'? Was Vicky at the same awards as everyone else? Because the ones she is reporting on were over and done with by 3pm. Even the BBC website had a rundown of the winners by 3:30pm.

Tuesday, 2 October 2007

'Eva Longoria' sex tape on web - 1st October,,2004580002-2007450554,00.html

'Showbiz Exclusive' - or story doing the rounds since last Thursday. It's a fine line!